51 Funny Craigslist Job Titles and Listings

51 Funny Craigslist Job Titles and Listings 317 Craigslist is a popular place to post free jobs listings. Sometimes the job titles are pretty funny. Here are 51 funny job listings from the site for your pun-filled enjoyment. This article was inspired by Word Sell’s Cartoon-Inspired Group Writing Project that I discovered on Group Writing Projects. When I saw the message on the gas pump, I first thought of all these funny resume blunders. Since Robyn â€" another blogger in this group writing project â€" already mentioned them in her hysterical post, I decided to compile this funny job titles list. Funny Job Titles Update 25/09/09: when I blogged this article, all the funny job titles linked to real postings on Craigslist. As time passed, Craigslist removed the old postings, breaking all my links so I've removed them. Believe me though, those were the real titles used. Enjoy!eval experienced bra fitter â€" I bet they had trouble finding candidates for this one. PlayStation Brand Ambassador â€" please report to your residence in the United States of Nintendo. Eyebrow Threading â€" I REALLY hope this has something to do with dolls. Administraive/ Secretary â€" ok, ok, we get it. It's clear where you need help. Finish Carpenter â€" for when the Start Carpenter gets tired. Helpdesk Technician @ Pentagon â€" “Uh, hello? I'm having a problem with this missile…” Nail Tech â€" so nails can be pretty complicated… Remedy Engineer â€" aren't those called “doctors”? Saltlick Cashier â€" new trend in the equestrian industry. Ok, enough horsing around. Molecular Biologist II â€" when Molecular Biologist I gets promoted. Breakfast Sandwich Maker â€" we also got one of these recently. Hotel Housekeepers â€" why can't they just say ‘hotelkeepers'? Preschool Teacher #4065 â€" either that's a really big school or they've got robot teachers. glacéau drop team â€" for a new sport at the Winter Olympics: ice-water spilling. PLUMMER/ELECTRICIAN â€" get a dictionary/thesaurus first. DoodyCalls Technician â€" they really shouldn't put down janitors like that. Golf Staff â€" and here I thought they were called clubs. Pressure Washers â€" what's next, heat cleaners? Sandwich Artist â€" another “Jesus in my food” wannabe. Self Storage Manager â€" this is for self storage? Qualified Infant Caregiver â€" too bad for all the unqualified caregivers on the list. Ground Support â€" but there's just more dirt under there. Gymboree Teacher â€" the hardest part is not burning your hands sliding down the pole. COMMERCIAL space hunter â€" so they did find animals further out in the cosmos? Who knew. JOB COACH â€" if they're unemployed when they get to you, what does that say about them? KIDS KAMP INSTRUCTOR! â€" no spelling ability required. POOLS SUPERVISOR â€" “yeah, they're still wet…” HOUSE MANAGER/TEEN SUPERVISOR â€" see the dictionary under P, for Parent. Licensed Seamless Gutter Contractor â€" just sounds bad. Funny Job Listings Drive Around Round Rock and get paid!! â€" seems simple enough. Landscaping Labor â€" the new Green Party. ROCKSTAR DEVELOPER â€" and you thought only American Idol was manufactured. Wine Spirits retail store looking for partime help â€" maybe they should stop drinking their merchandise first. Attractive, Busy Professional Seeks Very Attractive Personal Assistant â€" sounds one-sided to me The Perfect Nanny Needed â€" Didn't Ms. Doubtfire retire when the movie ended? You might want to work with us forever â€" depends on your health plan. I WANT TO HIRE YOU ON AT $500 PER DAY â€" what happens at the end of that day? Where Are You? â€" right here. Where are *you*? RUTH'S CHRIS STEAK HOUSE â€" it's gonna be a long night for poor Chris. BURNING BONZAI Server Needed â€" Bonzai server + matches = voila! Part Time Dog Walker Needed! â€" wait, what's the full-time dog walker doing? Secret Shoppers Needed In Hollywood Hot Spots ASAP!!!! â€" oh great. You weren't supposed to tell anyone! The easiest “SALES JOB” â€" EVER GONE FISHING WITH DYNAMITE? â€" uh, “NO”. SUPERINTENDED NEEDED â€" Superintended left already. She had stuff to take care of. Terramar Walnut Creek Seeks Front of House Manager! â€" no deal, I can only manage the back of the house. Part-time Quick Books â€" last time I checked they were books full-time. I Wish I Could Hire Everyone â€" better start looking for a really big office. Get Paid to Wave and Dance!!!! â€" This is one job I can do for free! Wanted: Happy Person â€" would that be “in your face happy”, “perky happy” or just plain happy? NATURAL PET STORE â€" the fake pet store is one street over from there. We Can't Afford 8 More Years. Help Elect Democrats in November â€" talk about a pessimist. They already think that the Democrats will lose again twice more. If you liked this article, you'll love 7 Funny Newspaper Job Wanted Ads You’ve Never Seen.eval Need a new job title?

Tips For Getting The Best High Tech Resume Writing Service

Tips For Getting The Best High Tech Resume Writing ServiceWith the recent boom in the high tech industry, many people have been applying for jobs online. In this type of job market, employers use resume writing services to help them get the best qualified candidates for their job openings. Since they are not paying these professionals to write their resumes, they are sure to get quality written resumes with excellent resume writing skills from them.In most job listings online, people are given a chance to send in their applications through the online forms. The websites often ask for a resume, and the employer may make a selection based on that. Even if an employer reads all the applications sent in, it is still best to let them know your resume is really important because you are the best person for the job.Resumes that are not sent in properly will just not help your cause. Most employers check the resumes on their own before selecting the best one for them. Since these professiona ls take time to proofread and edit the resumes sent in, they ensure that the resumes have been written correctly.Sending a resume to an employer that is not addressed correctly can cause confusion for them. They may not even understand the language that you used. When you follow these simple tips, you will be sure to get a better resume.When writing your resume, make sure that it is all in a proper format. A common error that most people make is the word misspelled or even misspelled. It is very important that you spell your words correctly so you can stand out among other resumes. You should also take note of the grammar and punctuation rules and make sure that you get them right.You should include your contact information such as phone number, email address, and the address where the resume can be mailed or faxed. By including this information, you can avoid getting an automated response saying that the email address is invalid. You can also send your resume by certified mail if y ou prefer.You can find your resume easily in the attachment section of the website. All you need to do is copy and paste your information into the text box to send it. If your email address has already been taken, just change it and send it again.Take your time to choose the best resume writing service in your area. There are many that offer these services, but you have to be careful in selecting the right one. It is best to compare different rates, and then choose the one that suits your budget best.

Top 10 Traits of High Performance Staffing Firms

Top 10 Traits of High Performance Staffing Firms In my previous blog, I described management styles that help form strong teams. Effective people management is one of the building blocks of good business without the right staff or the right management, a company with potential will never shine. It is the energy of committed staff that turn an ordinary business into an extraordinary one, with each one playing their part to the best of their abilities, doing all the things, seen and unseen, that make a business run like clockwork. Over the last few years, I have had the pleasure of working with some of the fastest growing asset management and asset servicing businesses in the UK and Europe. I have seen how fundamental it is to get the right people in the right places. A few key people can genuinely turn things around, making extraordinary things happen to business. Delivering for high performance companies: Despite the slow growth of the fund industry, we are fortunate to have a number of fast-growing companies as clients. Culturally, we are similar and champion the same values. As we mainly use search methods to find candidates, we actually focus on working with companies who are market-leading. We do this for 2 reasons: Firstly, we won’t headhunt a candidate for a job that would create a downward career move, so we need to be able to offer top jobs at the best companies. Secondly, when companies are growing quickly, they need the specialist support of firms like us more, because hiring decisions are more challenging, and the understanding required goes way beyond taking down a simple job spec. We build up a knowledge of their business that enables us to do far more than just simple ‘box ticking’ recruiting thought and analysis that takes time and effort and goes way beyond a normal recruitment process. My partner, who is a consultant, regularly tells me that what I am doing is in fact HR consulting work because of the depths I go to with clients and candidates, teasing out key drivers for hiring and operational issues. I develop an understanding of businesses that is very profound, and from there, I can problem-solve and make matches accurately tailored to our clients.  Half the time the things I am looking for are not found on the job description at all. I believe that working with a good recruitment partner should be like this. We have the capacity to support businesses in demanding periods of fast growth because we can manage out people problems through the injection of the right people at the right times. This is only possible when we really know the business well, and in order for this to happen, we focus on servicing clients who are loyal to us. Human capital = capital: It may seem unusual to some people to hear that there are still some fast growing asset management businesses out there, but there are. The most interesting thing about it, is that they all display very similar characteristics when it comes to their human capital. Just a coincidence? I don’t think so. I believe these firms have got something right in the way that they go about their business which allows them to tap into the potential of their people, and that enables them to outperform the market any market. Getting human capital decisions right is essential if you want your company to grow, as it is the people who are engaged and motivated that will help you to drive your company forwards, innovating and creating as they go. It is your people who will help you to weather the storm or bring your company into profit. Although most companies will tell you on their homepage it is their staff that differentiate them from   the next, the number of companies who really behave this way is very different. In all high performance businesses I know, they really do live and breathe this. I believe it is the positive energy that is created by managing business effectively that makes certain companies outshine others. Let me share with you more specifically, some examples of what I have seen: My top human capital characteristics of high performance businesses: 1) High levels of respect and involvement from senior decision-makers: High performance companies have, what I would say is, a higher than average level of respect and involvement  from all levels  of the organisation, among managers and staff, and between staff and external suppliers people generally treat each other well. But it is the impact of the way that senior directors of the business actively get involved in the business that makes the biggest change. I have noticed that senior members of staff, like the COO or the CEO will dip into whatever is the businesses biggest concern and use their knowledge and power to make it work when it counts. They are not ‘hands-off’ when it matters. 2) Build strong supplier relationships: They build strong relationships with their external suppliers, and, as above, they treat them as they would an internal colleague. They understand that it is a two-way street, a personal relationship, regardless of the fact that one of you is a client. Your requests will be serviced last if your supplier feels disrespected, and on the other hand, that small favour you did for your supplier will get repaid to you in consistent service that is way above the norm. Always remember that everyone is someone’s service provider! 3)  They create flat structures: Heavy hierarchies tend to stifle new ideas and fresh-thought generation. Like it or not, once you have been in a business for upwards of 5 years, you don’t question how things are done anymore. Stay upwards of 10 years, and you’ve forgotten it can work another way. So let the young guys speak up sometimes, and hear what they say. The strongest managers can hear out a new thought and consider it, even when it isn’t one of their own. 4) There isn’t a heavy blame culture: This one is a tough one, but it is essential to the success of business to allow mistakes to happen sometimes, and not to let this get in the way of practicing good decision-making. When there is a heavy blame culture, this can destroy decision-making confidence and therefore, growth. It is important not to undermine people who are generally doing a good job for the odd error, one that they can then learn from. Mistake, learn, move on, and forget about it! If you feel someone is making mistakes all the time, they are probably in the wrong job. RELATED:  How to Keep a Happy  Office 5) They chose their teams carefully: They don’t hire badly, they invest time and effort in finding the right people, and they leverage on relationships with good recruitment firms to help them cover more ground. When they hire they focus on both people skills and technical skills. They aren’t looking for the perfect CV, they are looking for the right person, knowing that that person can develop. They hire people with potential rather than those that have the right CV, but who might not deliver. They spend time with their recruitment partners, internal and external. My clients know when it is me calling because most of them have my number saved and they call me directly to talk. 6) They chose quality over quantity in recruitment partners: They get to know us really well, and they give us the commitment that enables us to give them the best service we can. When they reach out to us, they know we will have it covered. That is the peace of mind that can only come from a strong relationship. They take the time to explain in detail how their business works, what their culture is like, and what the history is. Once done, this process saves them time and money because we can be sure who would be a fit and who wouldn’t and they don’t need to repeat themselves. Because of their commitment, we can invest our time in finding candidates who would never know about the firm otherwise. 7) They chose their suppliers carefully: They chose their suppliers carefully, and they give chances to new suppliers if there appears to be a new market-leader. Companies don’t make it big for no reason, if there is a firm out there making waves, go and talk to them, see what the hype is about, you might be glad that you did. High performance firms are open to change if this might bring about more positive results, and they invest time to review this eventuality rather than staying with the status quo, which seems easier but might be making your life much harder than you realise. 8) They promote gender balance: When I talk about gender balance, I actually mean that they try to attract and / or retain women of a certain ‘child-bearing’ age. They are not put off hiring them, because they are focussed on finding the best hire regardless of sex. This can sometimes double the chances of finding someone really excellent. They recognise the importance of gender balanced teams and how they function better. They support women in coming through the ranks, not dropping them at child-rearing age, after children are born.  It is at this time that many women reach their professional peak when they are actually of most value to the firm, knowing a huge amount about the clients and the products, and the best firms find a way of keeping their talent on-board. 9) They retain their best talent, and remunerate properly: They recognise that their best people always have other opportunities, and they look after them. It is often the best people who are the most frustrated if things don’t work out, because invest the most. High performance businesses are full of managers who have found a way to maintain positive teams, even when the times are hard, keeping morale high. This is the main way good businesses have seen out the recession. Good management breeds a workforce who will go beyond their role. They have clear career paths and pay structures for their staff, and have a ‘open door’ culture. 10) They use people in the right roles: They are able to identify people’s strengths and put them in roles that work with their core personality traits. This keeps the employees engaged because they can further improve their best skills â€" skills which are of equal benefit to the business given that they are exceptionally-strong, creating a positive and successful work environment. You could argue that it is the other way around, fast growing companies create these people, this environment, and that creates these typical characteristics. You could say it is a question of whether the chicken or the egg came first. But I think that would be the easy way out. In a world as demanding and fast-changing as ours, you probably wouldn’t want to take the risk. There is a huge opportunity to take this period in our history and learn from it. Look after your human capital, and you will see what happens to your capital. I think it’s a win-win situation. Author: Rana Hein-Hartmann is Director EMEA of  Funds Partnership,  a specialist firm for mid-senior hires in Asset Management and Asset Servicing operating throughout Europe and Asia.

Announcing the 2nd Edition of Me 2.0 4 Steps to Building Your Future! - Personal Branding Blog - Stand Out In Your Career

Announcing the 2nd Edition of Me 2.0 4 Steps to Building Your Future! - Personal Branding Blog - Stand Out In Your Career Today, Im excited to announce the second edition of Me 2.0: 4 Steps to Building Your Future. Since I always tell people that they need to stay relevant in their industry, I figured I would update and improve my current book so it remains current and continues to support your career and business. Although many pages were altered, added and removed, the core message will always remain the same: you need to market yourself online if you want to have a successful career. More and more, its becoming obvious to people that they need an online presence if they want to complete in the global talent pool that is the internet. Once you have an online presence, which could be composed of a website, blog, social network profiles, media mentions, and written articles, you have to manage it for the rest of your career. Whats different about the 2nd edition? Technology is changing rapidly, and you have to be equipped with the latest information to navigate the online world successfully. New case studies, from people of all generations, on how they’ve used social media to become well-known brands. A new chapter entitled Personal Branding for Job Seekers on how to use the top social networks, including Facebook, LinkedIn, and Twitter, for job searching, with real success stories. Additional information on how to turn your passion into a business through the personal branding process. More tools you can use to network professionally and grow your presence, including Google Buzz, mobile branding, and location-based social networking. New research, examples, and resources that will support your online brand campaign. Current buzz around the book The 2nd edition of Me 2.0 has already received a lot of media mentions, including a three part interview I did with Fast Company (part 1, part 2, part 3). I was also interviewed by The Wall Street Journal for an article that went out this past Sunday. Yesterday, I spoke to Forbes about the new edition. Ill also be speaking at Harvard Business School and other venues across the country to promote the book. If you’re not sure whether you have a personal brand, or if you’d like to make your personal brand more powerful, pick up a copy of Me 2.0, Revised. Small Business Trends carefully provides a clear, step by step roadmap of the mechanics of creating your own brand and the risks to avoid. The Huffington Post Final words The internet is the glue that connects us all and the platform that supports our careers. By reading Me 2.0: 4 Steps to Building Your Future, you will be many steps ahead of your peers, and be able to compete in the global marketplace. You will understand why you need a personal brand, how to create one, and then how to manage one, with examples, research, advice, and more. Whether you have the first edition or not, this book is well worth the list price, and can pay dividends for years to come.

What Can Resume Photos Do For You?

What Can Resume Photos Do For You?If you are on the hunt for a new job, then you might want to consider using a resume photo instead of a standard cover letter. With a resume photo, you can express yourself and let the employers know what you can do and how well you can do it. And the best part is that you can express yourself in any way you choose.An employer is looking for several things from you before they will hire you. One of those things is your communication skills. A resume photo can help convey that to the potential employer. The use of this form of communication is more than just sending out an email to the candidate and hoping that they take you seriously.In the old days, people would often bring with them pictures as part of their resume. It was a simple enough process: first you send in the resume, and then you give the potential employer your picture. Many employers did not take the time to read the information on the resume and would assume that the person in the pict ure was the person that had written into the resume.In certain fields, people will even use their own family members as pictures. The idea behind doing this is to make sure that everyone is showing the same picture. While some of the resumes that you get these days have great pictures, the majority of them don't. So, you can be sure that your potential employer will see yours and quickly determine who you are and what your skill set is.Because there are so many social media sites available now, a person should take advantage of these sites. These sites allow anyone to upload a resume or any other form of document onto the site. Many employers will use the resume photos to take a look at what the person has to offer.Now, if you have not heard about how to upload a resume photo to a social mediasite, then you should go out and find a website that allows you to do this, such as LinkedIn or Facebook. Once you have found a site that you are comfortable with, then simply create a profile, and then upload a photo of yourself. Then you can use the site to share that information with others and let others know what you can do for them.Once you are online, you can also use some social media sites to recruit others. If you are still working at a place that you have not talked to anyone from before, and you know someone in the industry, you can ask them if they would mind meeting you. There are many people in the world today who can easily spot a good salesperson. So, once you have connected with someone, you can work on having that meeting.If you think that you have a photo that you would like to use for your resume, then it is simply a matter of making sure that you create it yourself. You can search online for free resumes and photos, or you can buy some professionally made resume photos that will help showcase your skills. Either way, you can create a beautiful resume that shows off what you can do and how well you can do it.

Networking in a New York Minute

Networking in a New York Minute Many people want to network but they struggle with finding the time to book lunches and coffees or  attend professional meetings. Others are concerned with the costs associated with attending events and some feel extrememly uncomfortable in networking situations.Online networking provides a  sound alternative to traditional networking and while I dont advocate it as a replacement  for in-person networking, I certainly see the value of incorporating these tools into your career management strategy.The new social networking darling is Twitter, a form of microblogging that allows you to make mini-posts or tweets of 140 characters or less to your network or followers. With Twitter you can do everything from update your network on whats happening in your life, make plans, solicit advice, share information, find friends, follow friends, form strategic partnerships, or learn whats going on in your community or industry.In the past few weeks I have used Twitter to:Congratulate a colleague on the second anniversary of his business.Teach a colleague how to synch her Facebook and Twitter feeds.Solicit resources for an upcoming presentation.Share information on career resources.Share blog posts.Brag about my recent interview on telecommuting on CNN.Discover that a colleague has just authored a new book on networking.Give my two-cents on the benefits of reputation profiles.Inform my followers of a Spoke interface on Simply Hired.Complain about all the rain we are getting in NYC (I got a lot of sympathy for that one)Im using Twitter to build and deepen relationships, keep my contacts top of mind, and stay on their radar as well. Im following people who are recruiters and career experts and thought leaders in the industry. Im building inroads with the people I want to learn from, grow with, and get in front of. What about you? No matter where you live, Im sure you have time for a New York minute, a human exchange, a touchpoint, a tweet. You owe it to yourself and your career to get in on the conversations that will help you build professional and personal relationships. If you would like to follow me on Twitter, you can find me here.

Discussing your current employer in a job interview - Sterling Career Concepts

Discussing your current employer in a job interview Discussing your current employer in a job interview Never Badmouth Your Current Employer. Unhappy with your current employer?  Miserable in your current job?  Its best to keep that fact to yourself. Many candidates have unfortunately lost a potential job opportunity by using social media to vent or by misspeaking during an interview.  Think of your relationship with your current employer like you would a past relationship during a first or second date with a new person.  Airing dirty laundry is not conducive to putting your best foot forward on either a first day or a first interview. What rules should you follow during a job search? Do not post negative status updates on social media. Do not say anything about your current employer when interviewing for a new job. Stick to phrases like “I am looking for a new challenge,” or “I’m looking to use my skills and experience in a new setting. When I heard about this opportunity, I couldn’t pass it up.” You may find the following related posts informative as well: First Impressions Matter! Heres How to Make a Great One Quick Tip: How to Close the Interview on a High Note The one thing you should always ask the interviewer at the end